Random moments

For all my Mo. people that keep up on my blog--- ABIGAIL AND I WILL BE HOME DECEMBER 16-21. Justin will be joining us on the 19th. Abigail and I will be flying for the first time together. Pray that is goes smoothly and that I wont be too nervous.
We look forward to the Murphy Christmas dinner. Abigail can't wait to meet all her crazy cousins! :) We would love to come by and see people-- let me know when a good time is to come by.

First time to grab onto Mr. Lion--she was quite excited! :)

Ready for church! She is always dolled up. It's so much fun!

One morning after her nap I went in to check on her and she had scooted her way around and had her feet dangling out.

Now that she can grab onto things she automatically puts everything right into her mouth.

Just rolled over for the first time from her back to stomach. She had been getting to her stomach but could not figure out how to get her arm out from under her. Look at her holding her head up so high!

26 Years of Life

Every year when my birthday comes around my mom always reminds me that I am not officially my age until 5:23 pm that night. Every year I always say, "oh mom"...., well this year is different. I am holding on strong to the lasting hours of the age of 25 today. Justin keeps reminding me that now I have to round up--ewww.... to 30! Don't like the sound of that. That means I need to have atleast one more child before the age of 30. That is definately doable. But, right now I don't want to think about going through the whole pregnancy process and definately not the delivery process again! I am still trying to get back into shape!

This year I have been given the best gift ever for my birthday--ABIGAIL!
It's funny how so many things change once having a child of your own. I have recieved some birthday money and I did not even spend it on myself. I bought Abigail's Christmas dress and another cute outfit for Thanksgiving. I much rather buy for her. It is so fun! Probably with the rest of my birthday money I will have Christmas pictures done so we can send them out to family. Which reminds me--I need to get an appointment made.

For the past year of my life I have been pregnant 9 months of it and have had a baby in my arms the last 3 months. We concieved in the middle of November last year. Kinda fun, huh.

So--now being the age of 26 I can look back and remember a lot of:

• Planning
• Excitement
• Planning some more
• The unknown
• Expectations
• Joy
• Preparing
• Praying
• Lots of pink,dresses and bows
• Unconditional love
• Sacrifice
• Trusting
• Thankfulness
• Change
• Being sleep deprived
• Baby showers
• Moving to a new apartment
• Giggles and kisses
• Wet and dirty diapers
• Becoming a family of 3

I know in the years to come I will have even more to add to this list and a lot will stay the same. I look forward to what the Lord has for my life this next year around.

Let loose

Something that puts me and I am sure many people on edge is being honest with our inner thoughts and feelings. I was encouraged by all the replys on facebook from my last post, "Is the grass greener on the other side?" Many told me they were thankful for how I was honest with what was going on with my life. ( I appreciate ones who let me know they were encouraged by my post)
I think being vulnerable is a scary thing. I hesitated to write what was going on, but truly felt lead to share. I am reminded of a Proverb in chapter 11:25, "...a generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Knowing I refreshed others refreshed me. It's funny how that works. :)
Have you ever stopped and noticed how many times you are asked throughout the day, "how are you?" but then all you say is "good" ask back and then it ends right there. I have become irritated by this Americanized greeting. There are many times when someone has asked me how I was and I was not doing good. But, in our culture we buck up, put a smile on our face and say, "fine", "great", or "good".
I believe we as a culture are missing out on true fellowship due to time constraints, scared of what others may think of us if we share what is going on in our lives, and simply wanting others to think we have it all together.
I challenge myself and whoever reads this to ask yourself--
What am I holding back? What would I like to let loose from within me? I am not saying spill your guts on here, but maybe there is someone imparticular you need to talk to about something that has been put away for too long. Maybe it is the person you have been closest to all your life--but for some reason have lost contact and don't know where to begin with words. Search your heart, and ask for the Lords leading. He will give you the words to speak.
Why are you holding back? What are you afraid of? Lets begin making a difference by going a little deeper with friends and family. People are wounded and need refreshment-- "They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. 'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace" (Jeremiah 6:14).

Is the grass greener on the other side?

Coming from a womans side of view.... from the time of toddlerhood girls naturally know how to cradle and take care of baby dolls. As we grow a little older we know all the rules to playing "house". We look to our parents and begin orchestrating what it looks like to be married. We eventually hit the age to begin dating. As we date we start sorting out the good and bad guys. Which one is quality material for marrying we begin asking ourselves..... We as women daydream about having the beautiful wedding, having babies, and a house to grow old in making fun memories on the way...
These are all things we can't wait for...what then happens after all these come true. The reality hits, I have my family, I had my beautiful wedding, and now what?

I have many single friends that look to me and think I have my life all figured out and my life is perfect because I am married and already have one child at the age of 25. I know I was in the category of being single back in college, but now I have other things to look toward. BIG life decisions that are not easy making. I do ask myself, what now? Am I living my life the way God would want me to be living it?
I know in May I will have a Masters in counseling. I love counseling, but I much rather be home impacting my children. This is a tough decision to make. Sometimes I hate how our culture is-- that the ideal is for both the man and woman to work. It be much easier not having the burden to feel like you need to help bring in any income. But, I want to work, but I also want to be a stay at home mom. We always want what we can't have. So--what will it be?
I could not image working 40 hours a week, coming home in the evenings cooking, cleaning, and only having a few hours to spend with my family. That breaks my heart thinking about that. I also know that the only way Justin will get his Masters is if I work. He can not keep working full time and finish his Masters. There are only so many night classes offered.
I have been reading the book of Acts in the mornings with Abigail. Acts always gets me on fire and reminds me of how I need to be spreading the gospel as the disciples did. I want to please the Lord with my life.
My fairy tale has come true, and now I wonder what the next big step is. I feel as if I have lived all my life looking forward to something and now that I don't really have something BIG to look forward to I almost feel lost.
I want the best for my family. But, honestly I don't know what that looks like. I think, I want to be back in Mo. so my family can grow up knowing their cousins, aunts, and uncles. But, what if that is me being selfish, and we get there and that is not what the Lord wants.
I know that the only way to know what to do is for me to pray. Will you pray for us and with me?
Pray that my selfish desires will not get in the way.
Pray that I will hear the Lord speaking.
Pray that Justin and I will be on the same page.

Hope you were able to keep up with my randomness....this is what is on my heart and mind right now. Thank-you for your prayers.
May the Lords will be done!

I am simply exhausted. I wish I was done with school so then I would not feel guilty to take a nap. I just fight the urge to sleep and make me a big cup of coffee. Abigail has started waking up at midnight the last couple of nights. She is not hungry, just waking up. So, I put the paci back in her mouth and she goes back to sleep. It seems like no big deal, but it is when I am never able to get into a deep sleep. She usually wakes up 2-3 hours later and then is ready to eat. I look forward to when I can give her cereal at night before bed. I hope that will help her start sleeping longer.
Please pray for my strength to finish out the semester strong. I am on page 11 for my research paper, have 4 to go. But, honestly I have nothing else to write. I am tempted to write my conclusion and be done with it.
I am trying to finish up all my big assignements before Thanksgiving. We are driving out to Alabama to have Thanksgiving at Justin's moms house. I know I will not get anything done there because our 2 nephews will be there too. They will keep us busy. It will be our first long roadtrip with Abigail. I hope it goes okay.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season?
I am thankful for the gift of Abigail and that she is completly healthy.
I am also thankful that I serve a God that is my strength when I am weak.

Mommy/Daughter Time

Today Abigail and I had a lot of fun. Well--we have fun everyday, but today I felt like Abigail was starting to play back with me. I kiss her cheeks and she will always try to get me back by sucking on my face. It is so funny. Then, we played dress up. She was not into the hat....she was ready for a nap so that did not help. As you can see on the 2nd picture she is dazing off--sign of sleepiness. These are a few pictures to capture our day. I seriously can not kiss her enough. She is so sweet. I love being a mommy. So-- are you starting to see that Abigail looks like me? :)

Joy of family

One proud Uncle!

For the past 3 weeks Abigail has been on a pretty solid schedule. I believe it has helped with naps and night time. She eats, we play, and then she gets sleepy and I put in her crib without any fussiness and goes right to sleep. As the weeks have progressed she is sleeping longer and sounder during her naps. I use to rub her face gently and she would squeeze her cheek up against my hand and the bed, so it made it hard for me to get my hand out. I started putting the little doll up against her cheek and she loves it. As you can see above in the picture. Pretty darn cute! She still is only sleeping from 8:00 pm till about 1 in the morning. She has slept 7 hours straight twice. I am hoping she gets back into sleeping longer. We have been having guests off and on this past month so that has messed up her schedule. This past week we got back on track though.

Last week Uncle Jess and girlfriend Casey came to town. I will let the pictures speak for themseselves. We had a lot of fun and it only made me more sad when they had to go back to Mo.

Our little beauty

This is one of my favoirte pictures of Abigail right now. My favorite ones change so fast because she is changing so much every day.

My little model...she is such a natural. However, I did have to prop her arm under her chin because she would not stop sucking on her hand. Don't you just love her little dimple!?

Gotta love big bows! I think I could have all girls, they are so much fun!

This was the first time to face her out in the BabyBjorn, I am not sure if she liked that more or just the fact she was able to chew on it the whole walk. Anything close to the mouth is for sure going in the mouth to suck on. She is becoming a slobbing machine.

Last week we had the first round of vaccines. I am not sure who it was harder on me or Abigail. Right when she started wailing, I had to hold back from crying with her. She did really good though, once they were done and I picked her up she stopped crying.
She weighed in at 12 pds 4 ounces 90% for her age, and 26 inches long 100% for her age...she is in 3-6 month clothes in length, but still has a hard time filling them out. She is going to be long and lanky. I had to take her back to the doctor today because they were out of one of the vaccines-- she only wimpered. She is so strong. But, I had them weigh her again and she is at 13 pds now. I am amazed how fast babies grow.
She has become very, very observant. She likes staring at her LEFT hand...I think she may end up left handed. It seems to be the dominant hand. My Grandma is a lefty, so she could be, and so is her cousin Xavier.
Next post I will add a lot of pictures. Her Uncle Jess and girlfriend Casey came to town and so has Nana Murphy in the past couple weeks. We captured some great pictures!